Second of all, I love this. Like, I LOVE THIS LIKE A LOVING THING. Because backstory! And badass!action. Plus your description is just...you set a lovely scene. Now for specifics!
Carl tapped his earpiece, then draw a finger across his throat. His radio was dead. One more thing to add to this clusterfuck.
I really like handsignals. Lovely detail.
Carl turned his eyes from the first explosion before the goggles whited out from the sudden burst of light.
And another detail! Which most people forget. Fire/explosions + nightvision = problem seeing!
"I'm not leaving you here. I'm not telling Teri that something happened to you. You're going home if I have to carry you every step of the way."
AUGH, just. The thought of this scenario - if Carl HAD to tell Teri that Jack had been killed, augh the breaky. It really helps drive the line home, for the This Is Not Happening factor.
"Then I will find another way out, Captain, now shut up."
I *adore* this. And the fact that Carl is NOT leaving Jack behind, no matter what, and even if Jack is higher rank here, he is GOING to listen to Carl and get hauled out.
Carl reached over and grabbed Jack's hand. Some of them were closer to safety than others.
Oh, DAMMIT, Karen. <3.
"Yes you bloody well could. I was close enough that we wouldn't have to worry about identification, and if anything happened to me, no one would miss me."
"I would," Jack said, opening his eyes for a moment to give Carl as fierce a look as he could at the moment. He had a feeling it wouldn't have scared off a toddler.
First of all, the bit about not scaring off a toddler is just a fantastic image. And then the bit about Jack missing Carl. And just. I LOVE IT. LIKE I LOVE THIS.
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Second of all, I love this. Like, I LOVE THIS LIKE A LOVING THING. Because backstory! And badass!action. Plus your description is just...you set a lovely scene. Now for specifics!
Carl tapped his earpiece, then draw a finger across his throat. His radio was dead. One more thing to add to this clusterfuck.
I really like handsignals. Lovely detail.
Carl turned his eyes from the first explosion before the goggles whited out from the sudden burst of light.
And another detail! Which most people forget. Fire/explosions + nightvision = problem seeing!
"I'm not leaving you here. I'm not telling Teri that something happened to you. You're going home if I have to carry you every step of the way."
AUGH, just. The thought of this scenario - if Carl HAD to tell Teri that Jack had been killed, augh the breaky. It really helps drive the line home, for the This Is Not Happening factor.
"Then I will find another way out, Captain, now shut up."
I *adore* this. And the fact that Carl is NOT leaving Jack behind, no matter what, and even if Jack is higher rank here, he is GOING to listen to Carl and get hauled out.
Carl reached over and grabbed Jack's hand. Some of them were closer to safety than others.
Oh, DAMMIT, Karen. <3.
"Yes you bloody well could. I was close enough that we wouldn't have to worry about identification, and if anything happened to me, no one would miss me."
"I would," Jack said, opening his eyes for a moment to give Carl as fierce a look as he could at the moment. He had a feeling it wouldn't have scared off a toddler.
First of all, the bit about not scaring off a toddler is just a fantastic image. And then the bit about Jack missing Carl. And just. I LOVE IT. LIKE I LOVE THIS.
And the end. OH MY GOD, WRITE MORE PLEASE.